ei, more info on the spells used in harry potter books.......
Accio (summoning charm) - Latin for "to summon."
Avada Kedavra (killing curse) - Aramaic phrase that means "may it be destroyed."
Avis (spell that Ollivander used to make birds fly out of Krum's wand) - Latin for "bird."
Cunjunctivitus Curse (spell that Krum used to "do something" to the eyes of the Chinese Fireball during the first task of the TWT) - Conjunctivitis is the scientific name for pink-eye -- the illness that children often get that makes eyelids crust together.
Cruciatus Curse - "Crucio" is Latin for "to torture."
Deletrius (banishing spell) - Latin for "to erase."
Densuageo (spell that Malfoy used to make Hermione's front teeth grow huge) - "Dens" is Latin for "teeth." "Augeo" is Latin for "to enlarge."
Diffindo (spell Harry used to cause Cedric's bag to split apart) - In Latin, "Diffundo" means "scatter."
Ennervate (used to revive someone who has been stunned) - When spelled with two n's, as ennervate, it actually means to add nerve (daring or strength). With one n, as enervate, it means to weaken. The spell in the books is "ennervate," so it makes perfect sense.
Expelliarmus (disarming spell) - Latin combination "to expel" and "arma" (weapon).
Impedimenta (used to slow down attackers) - "Impedio" is Latin for "to hinder."
Imperius Curse - "Impero" is Latin for "to control" and "imperium" is Latin for "absolute control."
Lumos (used to make a wand emit light) - "Lumen" is Latin for "light" and "luminous" means "emitting light" in English.
Morsmordre (makes the Dark Mark appear in the sky) - Combination between "mors" (Latin for "death") and "modere" (Latin for "to bite"). Death bite? No -- Death Eater.
Nox (cancels out Lumos) - "Nox" is Latin for "darkness."
Orchideous (makes flowers spring out of the tip of a wand) - Orchid is a type of flower.
Patronus (dementor defense spell) - "Patronus" is Latin for "protector."
Quietus (cancels out "Sonorus") - Obviously "quiet" means to be silent, and "quietus" in Latin means to be quiet.
Reducio (shrinking charm) - "Reduce" means "to make smaller" in English.
Riddikulus (spell used to transform a scary Boggart into a humorous shape) - "Ridiculous" means "absurd."
Sonorous (spell used to magnify a voice like a loudspeaker) - "Sonorus" is Latin for "loud."
Stupefy (spell used to make someone unconscious) - "Stupefy" in English means "dull the senses of; daze."
Veritaserum (truth potion) - "Veritas" is Latin for "truth" and a serum is a potion.
Thursday, November 25, 2004
VERITASERUM
ha! since every body knows that im a self-confessed harry potter addict, i decided that i should post some of the cool stuff that i have found out about j.k rowling's masterpiece and thereby help some of our muggle friends understand the wizarding world...
have fun!
NAME ORIGINS
This is a reference as to what some of the names and places in the HP series mean in other languages, what they might be named after, and some stories surrounding them in Mythology that might have to do with the future of the Harry Potter books.
AlASTOR - Greek God who sought revenge on people.
ALBUS - In Latin means white (maybe for white beard). Wisdom. Or.. Governor of Britain at the death of the emperor Pertinax, Decimus Clodius Albinus (Albinus=Albus?) attempted to seize the throne but ended up as Caesar in alliance with another imperial contender, Septimius Severus. After Severus defeated two other rivals (Voldemort and... maybe Slytherin?), the now expendable Albinus was forced into another attempt at usurpation, an attempt that came to an end at the bloody battle of Lyon.
ARAGOG- "Arachnid" means spider.
ARGUS - In Greek mythology, Argus was a monster that had a hundred eyes and was ever-so-watchful.
ARTHUR- Could represent King Arthur. The legend presents Arthur as a leader in ancient times who defeats the Saxons and other enemies. He thereby unites the people of Britain in peace and harmony.
BAGMAN - A person who collects money, as for racketeers.
Beauxbatons - French for "beautiful wands".
Bellatrix - A pale yellow star indicating the left shoulder of the constellation Orion, the Great Hunter. Bellatrix is known as the "Female Warrior."
Bode - To be an omen. Also, a stop or delay.
Boggart - "Baggart" (pronounced the same), an Irish word, means "a threat".
Charlie - A diminutive of Charles, which means manly and strong.
Cho - Japanese for "butterfly"
Colin - Means youth, child, or victor.
Cornelius - See Lucius.
Dolores - lady of sorrows
Draco - Draco is a constellation that looks like a dragon but is a snake. In Latin, Draco means "dragon."
Dumbledore - Means "Bumblebee" in Old English.
Durmstrang - "Sturm und drang" is German phrase meaning storm and stress.
Dursley - A town near J.K. Rowling's birthplace.
Figg, Mrs. Arabella - "Fig" means "not literal" and a fig leaf is something that conceals or camouflages. Hmm...
Filch - To "steal."
Firenze - Italian name for the city of Florence.
Flitwick - A town in England.
Fleur Delacour - Means "Flower of the Court" in French.
Fluffy - "Cerberus" the three-headed dog was the guardian of the underworld in Greek mythology.
Fudge - "Fudge," besides being a delicious chocolate confection, can mean nonsense. As a verb, it means to evade or to falsify. In technological jargon, it means "to perform in an incomplete but marginally acceptable way."
Gilderoy - A highwayman known for being handsome. May also come from the word "gilded," which is defined as having a pleasing, showy appearance, which covers something of little worth. The name "Roy" is old Old French for "regal one" or king.
Ginny - "Ginevra," Italian female, woman of the people.
Hedwig - A saint that lived in Germany in the 13th and 14th centuries Means "refuge in battle."
Hermes - The Greek Messenger.
Hermione - Means well born or stone. Feminine version of Hermes. In Greek Mythology, she was the daughter of Helen of Troy and King Menelaus of Sparta. Hermione is also a character in Shakespeare's A Winter's Tale.
Lily - Pure.
Lockhart - Town in Australia near Wagga Wagga ("Compose a poem about my defeat of the Wagga Wagga Werewolf"?).
Lucius - Similar to Lucifer (the devil).
A Roman General named Lucius Cornelius Sulla was usurped by the people of Rome, but defeated them and seized control as a dictator. After doing so, he removed most of the popular say in the government and returned it to the Senate of Rome, which controlled the people, and founded a firm Republic.
Luna - The Roman goddess of the moon. Also, it is a term for silver in alchemy.
Lupin - Lunar means moon. Lupin means wolf-like. Canis Lupus is the scientific name for wolf.
Malfoy - "Mal foi" means "bad faith" in French. Malfoy has "mal" in it, meaning evil.
Marietta - "Little Bitter."
Minerva - In Roman Mythology was the Goddess of Wisdom. In Greek Mythology she was the Goddess of War. She gave strict punishments.
Mirror of Erised - Erised backwards is desire (as in "you'll see what you desire"). The inscription around the top of the Mirror of Erised, if shown backwards with the spaces rearranged, says: I show not your face but your hearts desire.
Moody - Not in a good mood.
Mundungus - A stinking tobacco.
Nagini - "Naga" is snake in Sanskrit.
Neville - Old French for "from the new farmland."
Nicholas Flamel - Was a real alchemist, and supposedly DID create the Philosopher's Stone not "Sorcerer’s"). The tale was that he had spent decades of his life trying to create the Philosopher's Stone, which could turn any metal in to gold and unlock the secrets to immortality, but could not figure it out.
Nimbus - "Nimbus" means "cloud." Nimbus was also a god in Greek Mythology.
Norris, Mrs. - A character in one of J.K. Rowling's favorite author's (Jane Austen)
books.
Parvati - Parvati is a Hindu Goddess married to Hindu God Shiva the Destroyer. She gave birth to a baby boy named Ganesh, who Siva beheaded, but replaced the old head with an elephant head after Parvati reamed him out. Sister of the Goddess of the Ganges, Padma. "Patel" is a common Indian last-name.
Peeves - "Peeve" means "little devil" or something that gets on your nerves (like a pet peeve).
Percival - One of the legendary Knights of the Round Table. The name itself means "pierces the valley" or "destroyer."
Quibbler - To quibble means to evade the truth or importance of an issue by raising trivial distinctions and objections. A quibble is an archaic term for a pun.
Remus - Brother of Romulus (founder of Rome). They were raised by a female wolf. He was killed by Romulus.
Ron - Interesting when taken in conjunction with Arthur: advisor to the king.
Ronan - An Irish saint.
Severus - Sever means "to cut off". Severe also means cruel, strict. In ancient history, Lucius Septimius Severus restored stability to the Roman empire after the tumultuous reign of the emperor Commodus (See Albus) and the civil wars that erupted in the wake of Commodus' murder (if you watched "Gladiator" then you should know this).
Sibyll - Sibyll comes from the Sibyls, who were famous prophets in ancient mythology.
Sirius - Named after the star Sirius, also known as the Dog Star. Seen during
summer "dog" days.
Skeeter, Rita - "Skeeter" is short for "mosquito." As most people can attest, mosquitoes are among the most annoying life-forms on this planet.
Snape - A town in England, also based after a person JKR knew.
Tom Marvolo Riddle - If you rearrange the letters it spells: "I am Lord Voldemort."
Umbridge - Sounds like "umbrage," which is a feeling of anger caused by an offence. While it can also mean "shadow" or "offense," it can also mean "jealous of another, as standing in one's light or way."
Voldemort, Lord - There was a dark wizard in medieval times named Voldermortist. In another language, Voldermortist means "Lord of Evil" or "Dark Lord". Legend has it that Voldermortist once tried to destroy Merlin before the time of King Arthur (Mr. Weasley?), by bewitching good people, and simply bribing those who already were evil. Legend has it that Merlin destroyed Voldermortist by using a simple paralyzing charm (full body bind?), fed him to the many-headed-beast (Fluffy?) of the lake, the Lady of the Lake's pet (Giant Squid?), freed the bewitched people, and destroyed the evil men. That was maybe twelve, thirteen years before Arthur (how long it was from Voldemort's destruction until Harry started Hogwarts). In French means "thief of death" (meaning escaping death).
have fun!
NAME ORIGINS
This is a reference as to what some of the names and places in the HP series mean in other languages, what they might be named after, and some stories surrounding them in Mythology that might have to do with the future of the Harry Potter books.
AlASTOR - Greek God who sought revenge on people.
ALBUS - In Latin means white (maybe for white beard). Wisdom. Or.. Governor of Britain at the death of the emperor Pertinax, Decimus Clodius Albinus (Albinus=Albus?) attempted to seize the throne but ended up as Caesar in alliance with another imperial contender, Septimius Severus. After Severus defeated two other rivals (Voldemort and... maybe Slytherin?), the now expendable Albinus was forced into another attempt at usurpation, an attempt that came to an end at the bloody battle of Lyon.
ARAGOG- "Arachnid" means spider.
ARGUS - In Greek mythology, Argus was a monster that had a hundred eyes and was ever-so-watchful.
ARTHUR- Could represent King Arthur. The legend presents Arthur as a leader in ancient times who defeats the Saxons and other enemies. He thereby unites the people of Britain in peace and harmony.
BAGMAN - A person who collects money, as for racketeers.
Beauxbatons - French for "beautiful wands".
Bellatrix - A pale yellow star indicating the left shoulder of the constellation Orion, the Great Hunter. Bellatrix is known as the "Female Warrior."
Bode - To be an omen. Also, a stop or delay.
Boggart - "Baggart" (pronounced the same), an Irish word, means "a threat".
Charlie - A diminutive of Charles, which means manly and strong.
Cho - Japanese for "butterfly"
Colin - Means youth, child, or victor.
Cornelius - See Lucius.
Dolores - lady of sorrows
Draco - Draco is a constellation that looks like a dragon but is a snake. In Latin, Draco means "dragon."
Dumbledore - Means "Bumblebee" in Old English.
Durmstrang - "Sturm und drang" is German phrase meaning storm and stress.
Dursley - A town near J.K. Rowling's birthplace.
Figg, Mrs. Arabella - "Fig" means "not literal" and a fig leaf is something that conceals or camouflages. Hmm...
Filch - To "steal."
Firenze - Italian name for the city of Florence.
Flitwick - A town in England.
Fleur Delacour - Means "Flower of the Court" in French.
Fluffy - "Cerberus" the three-headed dog was the guardian of the underworld in Greek mythology.
Fudge - "Fudge," besides being a delicious chocolate confection, can mean nonsense. As a verb, it means to evade or to falsify. In technological jargon, it means "to perform in an incomplete but marginally acceptable way."
Gilderoy - A highwayman known for being handsome. May also come from the word "gilded," which is defined as having a pleasing, showy appearance, which covers something of little worth. The name "Roy" is old Old French for "regal one" or king.
Ginny - "Ginevra," Italian female, woman of the people.
Hedwig - A saint that lived in Germany in the 13th and 14th centuries Means "refuge in battle."
Hermes - The Greek Messenger.
Hermione - Means well born or stone. Feminine version of Hermes. In Greek Mythology, she was the daughter of Helen of Troy and King Menelaus of Sparta. Hermione is also a character in Shakespeare's A Winter's Tale.
Lily - Pure.
Lockhart - Town in Australia near Wagga Wagga ("Compose a poem about my defeat of the Wagga Wagga Werewolf"?).
Lucius - Similar to Lucifer (the devil).
A Roman General named Lucius Cornelius Sulla was usurped by the people of Rome, but defeated them and seized control as a dictator. After doing so, he removed most of the popular say in the government and returned it to the Senate of Rome, which controlled the people, and founded a firm Republic.
Luna - The Roman goddess of the moon. Also, it is a term for silver in alchemy.
Lupin - Lunar means moon. Lupin means wolf-like. Canis Lupus is the scientific name for wolf.
Malfoy - "Mal foi" means "bad faith" in French. Malfoy has "mal" in it, meaning evil.
Marietta - "Little Bitter."
Minerva - In Roman Mythology was the Goddess of Wisdom. In Greek Mythology she was the Goddess of War. She gave strict punishments.
Mirror of Erised - Erised backwards is desire (as in "you'll see what you desire"). The inscription around the top of the Mirror of Erised, if shown backwards with the spaces rearranged, says: I show not your face but your hearts desire.
Moody - Not in a good mood.
Mundungus - A stinking tobacco.
Nagini - "Naga" is snake in Sanskrit.
Neville - Old French for "from the new farmland."
Nicholas Flamel - Was a real alchemist, and supposedly DID create the Philosopher's Stone not "Sorcerer’s"). The tale was that he had spent decades of his life trying to create the Philosopher's Stone, which could turn any metal in to gold and unlock the secrets to immortality, but could not figure it out.
Nimbus - "Nimbus" means "cloud." Nimbus was also a god in Greek Mythology.
Norris, Mrs. - A character in one of J.K. Rowling's favorite author's (Jane Austen)
books.
Parvati - Parvati is a Hindu Goddess married to Hindu God Shiva the Destroyer. She gave birth to a baby boy named Ganesh, who Siva beheaded, but replaced the old head with an elephant head after Parvati reamed him out. Sister of the Goddess of the Ganges, Padma. "Patel" is a common Indian last-name.
Peeves - "Peeve" means "little devil" or something that gets on your nerves (like a pet peeve).
Percival - One of the legendary Knights of the Round Table. The name itself means "pierces the valley" or "destroyer."
Quibbler - To quibble means to evade the truth or importance of an issue by raising trivial distinctions and objections. A quibble is an archaic term for a pun.
Remus - Brother of Romulus (founder of Rome). They were raised by a female wolf. He was killed by Romulus.
Ron - Interesting when taken in conjunction with Arthur: advisor to the king.
Ronan - An Irish saint.
Severus - Sever means "to cut off". Severe also means cruel, strict. In ancient history, Lucius Septimius Severus restored stability to the Roman empire after the tumultuous reign of the emperor Commodus (See Albus) and the civil wars that erupted in the wake of Commodus' murder (if you watched "Gladiator" then you should know this).
Sibyll - Sibyll comes from the Sibyls, who were famous prophets in ancient mythology.
Sirius - Named after the star Sirius, also known as the Dog Star. Seen during
summer "dog" days.
Skeeter, Rita - "Skeeter" is short for "mosquito." As most people can attest, mosquitoes are among the most annoying life-forms on this planet.
Snape - A town in England, also based after a person JKR knew.
Tom Marvolo Riddle - If you rearrange the letters it spells: "I am Lord Voldemort."
Umbridge - Sounds like "umbrage," which is a feeling of anger caused by an offence. While it can also mean "shadow" or "offense," it can also mean "jealous of another, as standing in one's light or way."
Voldemort, Lord - There was a dark wizard in medieval times named Voldermortist. In another language, Voldermortist means "Lord of Evil" or "Dark Lord". Legend has it that Voldermortist once tried to destroy Merlin before the time of King Arthur (Mr. Weasley?), by bewitching good people, and simply bribing those who already were evil. Legend has it that Merlin destroyed Voldermortist by using a simple paralyzing charm (full body bind?), fed him to the many-headed-beast (Fluffy?) of the lake, the Lady of the Lake's pet (Giant Squid?), freed the bewitched people, and destroyed the evil men. That was maybe twelve, thirteen years before Arthur (how long it was from Voldemort's destruction until Harry started Hogwarts). In French means "thief of death" (meaning escaping death).
Sunday, November 21, 2004
life is boring at the moment
are you bored with school? i know i am. I want to get it over and done with. after all there are just four months left
this is the first time i ever felt this in my life. my mom tells me that even as a child i never liked being absent but lately i drag myself out of the house. i don't understand how this came to be. do all graduating students feel this way or is it just me? i used to be enthusiastic in taking down notes and dead crazy in reading all the books i can lay my hands on at the library. but now? sure i go to the library- to browse about subjects i have practically memorized in high school. i keep telling myself that i don't need to go over it again, but for the lack of interest in anything else at the moment i reread it.
i talked to my pastor about it yesterday and he said that i need an outlet. it's a case of burn-out, he says.
maybe i'll go find myself a new author to sink my mind into just as i did with sheldon during the last semester..
meanwhile, i'm gonna have to drag myself to senor escoda's class again...
this is the first time i ever felt this in my life. my mom tells me that even as a child i never liked being absent but lately i drag myself out of the house. i don't understand how this came to be. do all graduating students feel this way or is it just me? i used to be enthusiastic in taking down notes and dead crazy in reading all the books i can lay my hands on at the library. but now? sure i go to the library- to browse about subjects i have practically memorized in high school. i keep telling myself that i don't need to go over it again, but for the lack of interest in anything else at the moment i reread it.
i talked to my pastor about it yesterday and he said that i need an outlet. it's a case of burn-out, he says.
maybe i'll go find myself a new author to sink my mind into just as i did with sheldon during the last semester..
meanwhile, i'm gonna have to drag myself to senor escoda's class again...
Sunday, November 07, 2004
nick
sa mga ayaw ng mush, hwag nang magbasa! if you do read on, dont say ididn't tell you so...
nalilito na ako kung ano ba talaga ang gagawin ko sa lalaking ito. para sa mga hindi nakakaalam si nick po ay kaibigan ng kuya ko na seaman din at kasalukuyang nanunuyo sa akin- in short manliligaw. in fairness gwapo naman ciya, mabait, masipag, at may magandang trabaho. ang problema kasi 32 years old na cia at ako ay 21. big deal ika mo. ang totoo kahit napapalagay na ang loob jo sa kanya, dalawang beses ko na ciyang binasted dahil nape-pressure ako sa mga naiisip ko na maaaring mangyari. may namention kasi siya sa akin na sakaling palarin daw siya sa akin, maghahanda na daw siyang pakasal. ????!!!! bata pa ako at alam kong marami pang pwedeng magyari sa buhay ko. Gusto ko muna makagraduate at maka hanap ng fulfilling na trabaho kagaya ng kalahati ng mundo. Gusto ko muna matupad ang mga pangarap ng mama ko para sa akin. Para sa mga nakakakilala sa akin, alam naman ninyo na hindi biro ang pinagdaanan ko sa buhay at alam kong magiging mahirap para sa kanya o sa kahit kaninong lalaki ang intindihin ang mga kaganapan na iyon. Sa kabilang banda, alam kong handa siyang antayin ako. Napakalaki ng pagtitiwala niya sa akin at kahit nga alam kong nasasaktan siya kapag hindi ko sinasagot ang mga text messages niya, tumatawag at nagtetext parin siya mula sa kabilang dulo ng mundo. nakapa-manhid ko naman yatang tao kung ni hindi ko man lang maaapreciate ang mga efforts niya. hindi ako humihingi ng advice. nagpo-post lang ako kasi magdadalawang buwan na akong hindi nagpost..............
nalilito na ako kung ano ba talaga ang gagawin ko sa lalaking ito. para sa mga hindi nakakaalam si nick po ay kaibigan ng kuya ko na seaman din at kasalukuyang nanunuyo sa akin- in short manliligaw. in fairness gwapo naman ciya, mabait, masipag, at may magandang trabaho. ang problema kasi 32 years old na cia at ako ay 21. big deal ika mo. ang totoo kahit napapalagay na ang loob jo sa kanya, dalawang beses ko na ciyang binasted dahil nape-pressure ako sa mga naiisip ko na maaaring mangyari. may namention kasi siya sa akin na sakaling palarin daw siya sa akin, maghahanda na daw siyang pakasal. ????!!!! bata pa ako at alam kong marami pang pwedeng magyari sa buhay ko. Gusto ko muna makagraduate at maka hanap ng fulfilling na trabaho kagaya ng kalahati ng mundo. Gusto ko muna matupad ang mga pangarap ng mama ko para sa akin. Para sa mga nakakakilala sa akin, alam naman ninyo na hindi biro ang pinagdaanan ko sa buhay at alam kong magiging mahirap para sa kanya o sa kahit kaninong lalaki ang intindihin ang mga kaganapan na iyon. Sa kabilang banda, alam kong handa siyang antayin ako. Napakalaki ng pagtitiwala niya sa akin at kahit nga alam kong nasasaktan siya kapag hindi ko sinasagot ang mga text messages niya, tumatawag at nagtetext parin siya mula sa kabilang dulo ng mundo. nakapa-manhid ko naman yatang tao kung ni hindi ko man lang maaapreciate ang mga efforts niya. hindi ako humihingi ng advice. nagpo-post lang ako kasi magdadalawang buwan na akong hindi nagpost..............
Thursday, September 02, 2004
Scribbles
hi, this is just something i wrote for a project in specialized writing... feel free to add a comment. i just hope you don't diss me too much. thanks
Just like any other day when she is out of the house, she keenly places a ring on her left ring finger as well as her right. Worthy of photography, Florian’s fingers are long yet she likes to keep her nails short and unpainted. Her right hand, with a calloused middle finger, is never without a pen and lifts decisively whenever she utters a command. Her elbows are smooth even as memoirs of the bruises show. With pearls and crystals on her earlobes, she turns her head at every bit of unexpected noise. Sleek and strapy are the two-inch sandals on her feet planted flat on the floor. On her neck is a vine of a necklace made of gold and silver that ends with a chain at her nape. Her shoulders, even if high and purposeful are always covered with a jacket. With her back in a straight no-nonsense pose, the chair on which she sits loses all justification. No amount of lipstick could soften the edges of her mouth. Neither could spectacles unsharpen her eyes.
Florian del Mundo is a remodeled closet of armor showing elegant varnish and luster, seeking to keep clandestine what ought not be known.
Flor scans through her palm organizer realizing she has yet to finish tasks she would rather set aside for a month. She has articles to write, people to interview and a new novel to edit. Sighing heavily, Flor switches the palm pilot off. Her mouth spreads to a smile as she sees the post-it attached to the organizer.
MICA and KAYE.
Although the piece of paper is full of scribbles and erasures, Flor decides she will get right to that after this meeting. The note indicates groceries to shop, DVDs to rent, cakes and balloons to order and casseroles to cook.
She impatiently looks at her watch. 10:43.
This is taking too much of my time! I need to be done with this before twelve o’clock.
Again she looks at the watch. 10:51. The watch. It isn’t as beautiful as it was the day it was given to her on her birthday some years back. A present from Ali.
No, don’t even think about it!
It was the first time anyone ever gave importance to that day of the year. Not her parents. They were always busy with the family business to even notice the date. Not Jake to whom she was about to be married to a week from then. Flor had spent the years of her life alone at the mall or in her room. To Jake it was just another ordinary day, which meant he was at the office or at a business conference at the opposite site of the globe. They were of the same feathers. Nothing mattered more to them than money.
Last year was different. Somebody made sure she got everything she ever wanted on her birthday. She met Ali at a friend’s dinner party. A short- haired thirty two year old, he was tall and muscular, smart and easy to talk to. Flor had fun talking to him that night. He seemed to find her attractive as exemplified by the twinkle in his eyes. Ali asked her out and she agreed. They met regularly from then on. They watched movies and dined out. Flor wondered why he was distant. He’s too much of a gentleman. The most memorable time for her was that date exactly five years before.
I remember the flowers, the music, the laughter, and the kiss….
Who would have thought the world she knew could change right after that?
“How could you?! After all that I’ve done for you?!”
Rubbing her face, Flor whispers, “You did nothing for me. The only thing that matters to you is your stupid business, Jake.”
“We’ve already sent out the invitations and made the arrangements- the church, the reception …” Jake was almost hysterical.
“There was never a ‘we’. You arranged that wedding together with mom and dad. Why don’t you go marry them!”
SLAP! She did not see it coming. Jake hit her hard on the face. He was blinded with rage. He shook her shoulders roughly and scared it with his nails. Flor felt the warm blood on her shoulders and fought to break free. Suddenly she was flat on the floor.
Flor was tired of keeping everything she had in mind all to her self. It was time to speak up. All the things that were bottled up inside her were about to explode. She finally got Jake off her. She stood up took the diamond solitaire ring off her finger and threw it at Jake. She rushed to the drawer and got hold of the gun. She aimed straight at Jake.
“Get out!”
She never thought she would have to leave her previous abode. Never have to find a new life. From the shy and timid lapdog that she was, suddenly, Flor had a voice. She knew what she wanted with her life and it certainly was not to be married to a control freak like Jake.
The next thing she knew, Flor was calling up Ali. She told him everything that happened and he consoled her over the phone. When Flor asked if she could come over to his house, Ali hesitated and finally agreed. What will she think of me when she finds out?
Ali gave out his address and tried to fix his house as best he could. He was nervous. For the first time in his life he did not know what to do.
The doorbell rang…. Footsteps were heard… A man’s sing song voice… “I’ll get it!”… He was dressed in very short shorts. He opened the door and smiled at Flor.
“Hi, dear. What can I do for you?” The guy said. This must be his brother. Flor was about to say something when Ali came out from behind the door.
“Hi Florian, this is my partner Alexi.”
Her mind went blank. The world is turning upside down. Lost for words, Flor tried ever so hard to stay on her feet. She finally managed a weak smile and spoke.
“I- I must be at the wrong house.”
She turned her back and walked away. She kept on walking until she had nowhere to go. There was a time when she could walk alone at dusk around her neighborhood greeting all the amiable people walking past. There was a spot just around the corner of the trees that came to a clearing to reveal the view of the world’s most beautiful sunsets. It was “her spot”. It was where she wrote most of her poems and where she spent most of her Sunday afternoons just staring at nothingness. But like everything else, her Sunday soirees would have to end.
Right after she left Ali’s house, she found that she had wandered to her spot. But on that day, she forgot to notice the freshly cut grass along the way. She smiled at none of the amiable people walking past. Flor thought the sunset was the most despicable thing she ever saw. Then it dawned on her. She knew what she wanted to do.
She took all the money she had saved up and moved to Saipan. She was fortunate enough to find a job as a writer at a Micronesian magazine. She never informed her parents about her whereabouts. They wouldn’t notice I had left. They knew where she was but her parents did not go after her.
After a few months, she took another job as an editor at a publishing house. She no longer went on dates. She despised men. Whenever her male co-workers would try talk her into going some where she simply replied- “I’m not interested.” The men never understood why.
She was happy now with her two adopted children, Mica and Kaye. They were going to have a party tonight. It was going to be just the three of them. They were going to celebrate her day.
11:15
She is still waiting for the author of the novel she was editing. The young lad is an hour late. Well this should teach her a lesson on punctuality! Florian picks up her purse and leaves the coffee shop. She has a list to attend to. Flor takes out her shades, puts them on and walks toward a green SUV..
Just like any other day when she is out of the house, she keenly places a ring on her left ring finger as well as her right. Worthy of photography, Florian’s fingers are long yet she likes to keep her nails short and unpainted. Her right hand, with a calloused middle finger, is never without a pen and lifts decisively whenever she utters a command. Her elbows are smooth even as memoirs of the bruises show. With pearls and crystals on her earlobes, she turns her head at every bit of unexpected noise. Sleek and strapy are the two-inch sandals on her feet planted flat on the floor. On her neck is a vine of a necklace made of gold and silver that ends with a chain at her nape. Her shoulders, even if high and purposeful are always covered with a jacket. With her back in a straight no-nonsense pose, the chair on which she sits loses all justification. No amount of lipstick could soften the edges of her mouth. Neither could spectacles unsharpen her eyes.
Florian del Mundo is a remodeled closet of armor showing elegant varnish and luster, seeking to keep clandestine what ought not be known.
Flor scans through her palm organizer realizing she has yet to finish tasks she would rather set aside for a month. She has articles to write, people to interview and a new novel to edit. Sighing heavily, Flor switches the palm pilot off. Her mouth spreads to a smile as she sees the post-it attached to the organizer.
MICA and KAYE.
Although the piece of paper is full of scribbles and erasures, Flor decides she will get right to that after this meeting. The note indicates groceries to shop, DVDs to rent, cakes and balloons to order and casseroles to cook.
She impatiently looks at her watch. 10:43.
This is taking too much of my time! I need to be done with this before twelve o’clock.
Again she looks at the watch. 10:51. The watch. It isn’t as beautiful as it was the day it was given to her on her birthday some years back. A present from Ali.
No, don’t even think about it!
It was the first time anyone ever gave importance to that day of the year. Not her parents. They were always busy with the family business to even notice the date. Not Jake to whom she was about to be married to a week from then. Flor had spent the years of her life alone at the mall or in her room. To Jake it was just another ordinary day, which meant he was at the office or at a business conference at the opposite site of the globe. They were of the same feathers. Nothing mattered more to them than money.
Last year was different. Somebody made sure she got everything she ever wanted on her birthday. She met Ali at a friend’s dinner party. A short- haired thirty two year old, he was tall and muscular, smart and easy to talk to. Flor had fun talking to him that night. He seemed to find her attractive as exemplified by the twinkle in his eyes. Ali asked her out and she agreed. They met regularly from then on. They watched movies and dined out. Flor wondered why he was distant. He’s too much of a gentleman. The most memorable time for her was that date exactly five years before.
I remember the flowers, the music, the laughter, and the kiss….
Who would have thought the world she knew could change right after that?
“How could you?! After all that I’ve done for you?!”
Rubbing her face, Flor whispers, “You did nothing for me. The only thing that matters to you is your stupid business, Jake.”
“We’ve already sent out the invitations and made the arrangements- the church, the reception …” Jake was almost hysterical.
“There was never a ‘we’. You arranged that wedding together with mom and dad. Why don’t you go marry them!”
SLAP! She did not see it coming. Jake hit her hard on the face. He was blinded with rage. He shook her shoulders roughly and scared it with his nails. Flor felt the warm blood on her shoulders and fought to break free. Suddenly she was flat on the floor.
Flor was tired of keeping everything she had in mind all to her self. It was time to speak up. All the things that were bottled up inside her were about to explode. She finally got Jake off her. She stood up took the diamond solitaire ring off her finger and threw it at Jake. She rushed to the drawer and got hold of the gun. She aimed straight at Jake.
“Get out!”
She never thought she would have to leave her previous abode. Never have to find a new life. From the shy and timid lapdog that she was, suddenly, Flor had a voice. She knew what she wanted with her life and it certainly was not to be married to a control freak like Jake.
The next thing she knew, Flor was calling up Ali. She told him everything that happened and he consoled her over the phone. When Flor asked if she could come over to his house, Ali hesitated and finally agreed. What will she think of me when she finds out?
Ali gave out his address and tried to fix his house as best he could. He was nervous. For the first time in his life he did not know what to do.
The doorbell rang…. Footsteps were heard… A man’s sing song voice… “I’ll get it!”… He was dressed in very short shorts. He opened the door and smiled at Flor.
“Hi, dear. What can I do for you?” The guy said. This must be his brother. Flor was about to say something when Ali came out from behind the door.
“Hi Florian, this is my partner Alexi.”
Her mind went blank. The world is turning upside down. Lost for words, Flor tried ever so hard to stay on her feet. She finally managed a weak smile and spoke.
“I- I must be at the wrong house.”
She turned her back and walked away. She kept on walking until she had nowhere to go. There was a time when she could walk alone at dusk around her neighborhood greeting all the amiable people walking past. There was a spot just around the corner of the trees that came to a clearing to reveal the view of the world’s most beautiful sunsets. It was “her spot”. It was where she wrote most of her poems and where she spent most of her Sunday afternoons just staring at nothingness. But like everything else, her Sunday soirees would have to end.
Right after she left Ali’s house, she found that she had wandered to her spot. But on that day, she forgot to notice the freshly cut grass along the way. She smiled at none of the amiable people walking past. Flor thought the sunset was the most despicable thing she ever saw. Then it dawned on her. She knew what she wanted to do.
She took all the money she had saved up and moved to Saipan. She was fortunate enough to find a job as a writer at a Micronesian magazine. She never informed her parents about her whereabouts. They wouldn’t notice I had left. They knew where she was but her parents did not go after her.
After a few months, she took another job as an editor at a publishing house. She no longer went on dates. She despised men. Whenever her male co-workers would try talk her into going some where she simply replied- “I’m not interested.” The men never understood why.
She was happy now with her two adopted children, Mica and Kaye. They were going to have a party tonight. It was going to be just the three of them. They were going to celebrate her day.
11:15
She is still waiting for the author of the novel she was editing. The young lad is an hour late. Well this should teach her a lesson on punctuality! Florian picks up her purse and leaves the coffee shop. She has a list to attend to. Flor takes out her shades, puts them on and walks toward a green SUV..
Thursday, August 26, 2004
i know
many times i've heard it said that You are great
That everything i know is marked with the prints of Your mighty hand
I grew up in a world that boasts of knowing You
And yet too many times I stumbled as i saw them fall
Who would have thought Your eyes would rest on little 'ol me?
The same hands that created the heavens would actually hold mine?
Never has man's mind been able to fathom how vast Your powers are
So how did it happen that Your amazing grace was given to a nobody like me?
There are days when i forget to tell You how happy i am
But when troubles come the first word out of my lips is Your name
The fact that You are always beside me escapes me at times
You gently touch me, turn my eyes and i am reminded
I get caught up with the world and its worries too often
They take away my time with You and present shabby substitutes
They call me derranged and i just turn right back to You, my home base
Then I wish the joy and promise You gave me would not be foriegn to them
What can i give back that your hands have not made?
It seems Your standards are high and far-fetched
So for every burnt offering You have provided a lamb
For every gap between islands, a means to cross the bridge
I hope You don't mind that i constantly call upon You
I know i am not the only one whose needs You attend to
It's just that when i talk to You, i can never get enough of Your nearness
I long for the day when i become intoxicated by Your fragrance, swept away by Your love
People come to me to say they like my ways, and ask my secret
I shrugg my shoulders- "I am nobody, I just have a great Dad."
You are my secret, my focus, my way and my first love
They say You are great. I know You're better that great.
That everything i know is marked with the prints of Your mighty hand
I grew up in a world that boasts of knowing You
And yet too many times I stumbled as i saw them fall
Who would have thought Your eyes would rest on little 'ol me?
The same hands that created the heavens would actually hold mine?
Never has man's mind been able to fathom how vast Your powers are
So how did it happen that Your amazing grace was given to a nobody like me?
There are days when i forget to tell You how happy i am
But when troubles come the first word out of my lips is Your name
The fact that You are always beside me escapes me at times
You gently touch me, turn my eyes and i am reminded
I get caught up with the world and its worries too often
They take away my time with You and present shabby substitutes
They call me derranged and i just turn right back to You, my home base
Then I wish the joy and promise You gave me would not be foriegn to them
What can i give back that your hands have not made?
It seems Your standards are high and far-fetched
So for every burnt offering You have provided a lamb
For every gap between islands, a means to cross the bridge
I hope You don't mind that i constantly call upon You
I know i am not the only one whose needs You attend to
It's just that when i talk to You, i can never get enough of Your nearness
I long for the day when i become intoxicated by Your fragrance, swept away by Your love
People come to me to say they like my ways, and ask my secret
I shrugg my shoulders- "I am nobody, I just have a great Dad."
You are my secret, my focus, my way and my first love
They say You are great. I know You're better that great.
Thursday, August 12, 2004
best i ever had
i was surprised by the question my teacher/friend mam jen asked me last night. She asked me what my birthday wish was. i did not have an answer because i could not remember if i ever made one. Perhaps i did, at one point in time- when i was a kid- wish to have the usual toys or a trip to the mall with my parents. even now as i am typing this i cannot think of an answer to the question.
i spent two days celebrating my birthday this year. im actually overwhelmed.. On tuesday my college best buds and i went to sm manila to have lunch at tropical hut at the fourth floor. Its funny because this was the first time each one was present ever since the last time we ate out together which was right after our variety show last december and since the big fight we had over the summer. We laughed as we remembered that december afternoon when we saw the girl beside our table pick at her spaghetti and barely touch her chicken just because she was with a guy who seemed to be trying to impress her with his money (or his parents' money). They were with another girl who must have been a chaperone on their said date. my friends and i figured it was another one of those 'eyebol dates'. We couldn't have cared less about what those people did since we were finishing every strip of chicken there was on our plate. We were very hungry, mind you, after all the work we did on the variety show. Some minutes passed and the chaperoned couple left their table. I got mad at how wasteful the girl was, she just took a piece of skin from her chicken! because of a dare (i cant remember who dared me) i got up from my seat, walked accross to the table beside us, took the chicken from the plate and brought it back to our table. My friends and i laughed as we remembered laughing our hearts out as we shared it with feelings of embarrassment and delight.
I looked at all six faces as we were getting ready to leave our table. I suddenly realized we have barely seven months together as college students. i spend more time with these guys more than ive spent time with my neices at home. These are faces i have memorized and look forward to seeing everyday of the week. i don't ever want to forget these people. i was teary eyed then but i did not want to become all sentimental in front of them, they've seen me cry too many times all ready and that's just for the month of august. so i held back the tears. i put away the tissue paper they had written small notes on for my birthday. i love those guys.
after that we went shopping for shoes because my nanay gave me some money to buy myself a new pair after i showed her that the old pair had holes already. Later we went to the aumacomms office to talk about the general assembly and help out with whatever it was our other friends would have us do. The others were rehearsing for their dance number.
The general assembly was successful and compared with the other assemblies i've attended in the past, this was fun. i hosted the event together with lui, tere and melvin. Actually the four of us only had a short briefing two hours before the program began. A deejay from Love Radio, Chris Tsuper was the speaker for the assembly and he was telling the students how unimportant a mastery of the english language was on radio. i thought- who are you kidding? i couldnt help but think of the difference between all the things mr chris tsuper was saying to the students (some of which were actual aspiring djs)and the things my mentor, John Hendrix, had taught the aircheck student deejays.It was fortunate that i did not commit a mistake of saying 97.1 wlsfm. I guess i was not the only one reacting, Mr Tan the chairman of the department of foreign languages contradicted everything the guy said in his speech. by the way Mr Tan was the highlight of the general assembly, he sang "the greatest love of all".
After the assembly myle and i waited for the other core members to come out of their classes for we had plans of going to luneta to celebrate. We bought some chips and some sodas and spent some hours in front of the DOT. The wind was cold and lapu-lapu's large figure was missing. Everybody missed him. There were kids lurking around asking for our food and one of them was a bully. We were already shooing them away but they seemed to have been trained to pester the people at luneta for whatever they could get their hands on. they were rowdy and annoying but that was not enough to get me out of my happy mood.
Two days spent all because my friends thought it was special. i wish particular people thought of it as special too. if it was possible, i would hold the moment and not allow time to continue. I may never have another birthday such as this one. For the first time i don't have words passionate enough to express my joy. i thank the Lord that He allowed all this to happen through my friends. This was my best birthday ever.
i asked God last night if ever that special person He intended for me would be coming any time soon. i told Him how i would like that person, whoever he might be, to be able to give as much importance to the day i was born as my friends have. Maybe even more. . .
i spent two days celebrating my birthday this year. im actually overwhelmed.. On tuesday my college best buds and i went to sm manila to have lunch at tropical hut at the fourth floor. Its funny because this was the first time each one was present ever since the last time we ate out together which was right after our variety show last december and since the big fight we had over the summer. We laughed as we remembered that december afternoon when we saw the girl beside our table pick at her spaghetti and barely touch her chicken just because she was with a guy who seemed to be trying to impress her with his money (or his parents' money). They were with another girl who must have been a chaperone on their said date. my friends and i figured it was another one of those 'eyebol dates'. We couldn't have cared less about what those people did since we were finishing every strip of chicken there was on our plate. We were very hungry, mind you, after all the work we did on the variety show. Some minutes passed and the chaperoned couple left their table. I got mad at how wasteful the girl was, she just took a piece of skin from her chicken! because of a dare (i cant remember who dared me) i got up from my seat, walked accross to the table beside us, took the chicken from the plate and brought it back to our table. My friends and i laughed as we remembered laughing our hearts out as we shared it with feelings of embarrassment and delight.
I looked at all six faces as we were getting ready to leave our table. I suddenly realized we have barely seven months together as college students. i spend more time with these guys more than ive spent time with my neices at home. These are faces i have memorized and look forward to seeing everyday of the week. i don't ever want to forget these people. i was teary eyed then but i did not want to become all sentimental in front of them, they've seen me cry too many times all ready and that's just for the month of august. so i held back the tears. i put away the tissue paper they had written small notes on for my birthday. i love those guys.
after that we went shopping for shoes because my nanay gave me some money to buy myself a new pair after i showed her that the old pair had holes already. Later we went to the aumacomms office to talk about the general assembly and help out with whatever it was our other friends would have us do. The others were rehearsing for their dance number.
The general assembly was successful and compared with the other assemblies i've attended in the past, this was fun. i hosted the event together with lui, tere and melvin. Actually the four of us only had a short briefing two hours before the program began. A deejay from Love Radio, Chris Tsuper was the speaker for the assembly and he was telling the students how unimportant a mastery of the english language was on radio. i thought- who are you kidding? i couldnt help but think of the difference between all the things mr chris tsuper was saying to the students (some of which were actual aspiring djs)and the things my mentor, John Hendrix, had taught the aircheck student deejays.It was fortunate that i did not commit a mistake of saying 97.1 wlsfm. I guess i was not the only one reacting, Mr Tan the chairman of the department of foreign languages contradicted everything the guy said in his speech. by the way Mr Tan was the highlight of the general assembly, he sang "the greatest love of all".
After the assembly myle and i waited for the other core members to come out of their classes for we had plans of going to luneta to celebrate. We bought some chips and some sodas and spent some hours in front of the DOT. The wind was cold and lapu-lapu's large figure was missing. Everybody missed him. There were kids lurking around asking for our food and one of them was a bully. We were already shooing them away but they seemed to have been trained to pester the people at luneta for whatever they could get their hands on. they were rowdy and annoying but that was not enough to get me out of my happy mood.
Two days spent all because my friends thought it was special. i wish particular people thought of it as special too. if it was possible, i would hold the moment and not allow time to continue. I may never have another birthday such as this one. For the first time i don't have words passionate enough to express my joy. i thank the Lord that He allowed all this to happen through my friends. This was my best birthday ever.
i asked God last night if ever that special person He intended for me would be coming any time soon. i told Him how i would like that person, whoever he might be, to be able to give as much importance to the day i was born as my friends have. Maybe even more. . .
Sunday, August 08, 2004
kalakip ng awitin
kung mayroon lamang akong sanlibong buhay
hindi ipagkakait lahat sayoy ibibigay
gayunpaman saking nagiisang taglay
ilalaan bawat saglit upang ibigin ka ng walang humpay
gaya ng dagat na hindi napapagal sa pagalon
puso ko ay sayo magmamahal sa habang panahon
natatanging karangalan ko'y ikaw ay sambahin
wagas na pag sinata'y iyong dinggin
kalakip ng awitin
hindi ipagkakait lahat sayoy ibibigay
gayunpaman saking nagiisang taglay
ilalaan bawat saglit upang ibigin ka ng walang humpay
gaya ng dagat na hindi napapagal sa pagalon
puso ko ay sayo magmamahal sa habang panahon
natatanging karangalan ko'y ikaw ay sambahin
wagas na pag sinata'y iyong dinggin
kalakip ng awitin
Wednesday, July 21, 2004
JFCM
for more information on Jesus First Christian Ministries, the church i love so much, check out www.jfcm.org.ph
walk the talk
Last sunday, our pastor shared a message all about offering. He cited Cain and Abel and continued on to say that not all that we offer to God is pleasing to God. Not to get too preachy, the essence of the message was that we should check ourselves whether what we do still pleases God. I tell you i am not alone in saying that it was one of the most hurtful messages i have heard. I pondered very hard on that thought- "Are you cain or abel?".
Then yesterday, as i was on the way to school, i remembered my pastor and how much work he puts in on God'd kingdom. I take pride in saying things that concern him because i very much admire his perserverance. Ptr Domeng happens to be one of the overseers of the Jesus First Christian Ministries, a church that began in Saudi Arabia believe it or not. Our outreach, JFCM Taytay, is the church he directly handles every sunday but over all he oversees about 11 other provincial churches of JFCM. He's a cool dude even if he's almost 50.. Hehe.. I'm friends with his two older kids Dave and Dyan. Thinking of him yesterday made me smile tearfully and think of that line in the bible that says we should continue to encourage one another. So i picked up my phone and texted him. I told him "wala lang! naalala ko lng po kayo. just want to thank you for your work for God's Kingdom.God's Grace be with you today!". Of course i expected a reply but that of the "ok" types. He replied (not 'reply back' like my friend likes to txt!hehe) saying that i gave confirmation that he was preaching the word of God not of man. I didnt know he was doubting himself already. He said thanks right after.
I rarely get to see my pastor ever since i came into radio last year. Yes it has been a year... I remember when i shared the news of acceptance to the auditions to him. He gave me a half smile reminding me that i should not forget the things that matter most. It is now that we have a cell group in school that i realize how much Ptr Domeng's work and discipleship has poured onto my life. He was there when i had so many questions to ask. He gladly presented the answers to each one no matter if we ended each session of Bible study at 11:30 in the evening. No matter if i had to sleep over night at their house so that the worship team could practice for an upcoming concert till 2 in the morning. No matter if he had to travel to antipolo straight from a meeting in mandaluyong. I never saw him tired or ashamed that he was a pastor "on call". In scholl during cell meetings when i answer trivial questions to my friends, i remember myself asking for help during my time. were it not for ptr domeng or the other workers i hung (past tense) around with I would not be able to answer my cell mates.
Tearfully, i realize i miss church. I miss my friends at church. I miss practicing on saturdays and arguing with our guitarist all because he wants to take the song on a G and i want it on an E because the notes are too high for me on G. I miss goofing around Ptr domeng's house and cooking and eating with the other christian friends including my mom. I miss the fire of worship leading. The last time i sang in church was december of 2003, the only follow up to that was JFCM's anniversary last May. I also miss the manong who sells barbeque at the corner of the church whom i would chat with during breaks. I miss the flood in taytay. I miss the little kids who like to run around the church before sunday service. I miss everything related to God's ministry.
How could I????? How could i exchange that part of my life that brought everything i ever needed? Here comes the question- Can radio be better than God's house. NO. How many times have i sang that song- "Better is one day in Your courts, better is one day in Your house, better is one day in your courts than a thousand elsewhere"?
I have seen what there is to be seen in the life in radio. The internal politics, the greed, the pride, the (excuse me) dirt. I endured it for a year. I was a part of it for a year. with humility, i admit, i was one of them for a year. A year is enough. i have decided. Walk the talk. how can i tell my cell mates to their face that life with God is better than anything in the world if i am a part of a world so in contrast with God's world.
Giving radio up hurts. so much. Why? because i took up mass communications to be in media. Call it a dream. this was to be a stepping stone, like so many people like to call it. But then the world likes to glitter things up to keep you from what matters most. I texted my mentor at the radio station just today, i told him the truth, that i have a ministry to attend to. Funny, God loves to take the things that matter a big deal to you. If it takes you away from God, it's not worth keeping. Do you think Abel was hurt when he gave up his offering?
Then yesterday, as i was on the way to school, i remembered my pastor and how much work he puts in on God'd kingdom. I take pride in saying things that concern him because i very much admire his perserverance. Ptr Domeng happens to be one of the overseers of the Jesus First Christian Ministries, a church that began in Saudi Arabia believe it or not. Our outreach, JFCM Taytay, is the church he directly handles every sunday but over all he oversees about 11 other provincial churches of JFCM. He's a cool dude even if he's almost 50.. Hehe.. I'm friends with his two older kids Dave and Dyan. Thinking of him yesterday made me smile tearfully and think of that line in the bible that says we should continue to encourage one another. So i picked up my phone and texted him. I told him "wala lang! naalala ko lng po kayo. just want to thank you for your work for God's Kingdom.God's Grace be with you today!". Of course i expected a reply but that of the "ok" types. He replied (not 'reply back' like my friend likes to txt!hehe) saying that i gave confirmation that he was preaching the word of God not of man. I didnt know he was doubting himself already. He said thanks right after.
I rarely get to see my pastor ever since i came into radio last year. Yes it has been a year... I remember when i shared the news of acceptance to the auditions to him. He gave me a half smile reminding me that i should not forget the things that matter most. It is now that we have a cell group in school that i realize how much Ptr Domeng's work and discipleship has poured onto my life. He was there when i had so many questions to ask. He gladly presented the answers to each one no matter if we ended each session of Bible study at 11:30 in the evening. No matter if i had to sleep over night at their house so that the worship team could practice for an upcoming concert till 2 in the morning. No matter if he had to travel to antipolo straight from a meeting in mandaluyong. I never saw him tired or ashamed that he was a pastor "on call". In scholl during cell meetings when i answer trivial questions to my friends, i remember myself asking for help during my time. were it not for ptr domeng or the other workers i hung (past tense) around with I would not be able to answer my cell mates.
Tearfully, i realize i miss church. I miss my friends at church. I miss practicing on saturdays and arguing with our guitarist all because he wants to take the song on a G and i want it on an E because the notes are too high for me on G. I miss goofing around Ptr domeng's house and cooking and eating with the other christian friends including my mom. I miss the fire of worship leading. The last time i sang in church was december of 2003, the only follow up to that was JFCM's anniversary last May. I also miss the manong who sells barbeque at the corner of the church whom i would chat with during breaks. I miss the flood in taytay. I miss the little kids who like to run around the church before sunday service. I miss everything related to God's ministry.
How could I????? How could i exchange that part of my life that brought everything i ever needed? Here comes the question- Can radio be better than God's house. NO. How many times have i sang that song- "Better is one day in Your courts, better is one day in Your house, better is one day in your courts than a thousand elsewhere"?
I have seen what there is to be seen in the life in radio. The internal politics, the greed, the pride, the (excuse me) dirt. I endured it for a year. I was a part of it for a year. with humility, i admit, i was one of them for a year. A year is enough. i have decided. Walk the talk. how can i tell my cell mates to their face that life with God is better than anything in the world if i am a part of a world so in contrast with God's world.
Giving radio up hurts. so much. Why? because i took up mass communications to be in media. Call it a dream. this was to be a stepping stone, like so many people like to call it. But then the world likes to glitter things up to keep you from what matters most. I texted my mentor at the radio station just today, i told him the truth, that i have a ministry to attend to. Funny, God loves to take the things that matter a big deal to you. If it takes you away from God, it's not worth keeping. Do you think Abel was hurt when he gave up his offering?
Friday, July 09, 2004
chest pain anyone?
For almost every year that i have spent in school, i have always had a teacher that i despised by any of the following reasons: teaching technique, grammatical ignorance,lack of fashion sense, p and h defect, corny jokes, ticket-selling requirement,capricious requirements, unacceptable guesses of the facts on the subject and at times the teacher himself for no reason at all. There were those that i got along with later on in life, but then it is inevitable that i have not been able to come to terms with the rest.
The earliest that my brain can remember (at the moment) myself making fun of a teacher was in third year high school. I did not like the way our world history teacher required us to have the 6th edition of Sonia Zaide's text book on the subject. He wanted it covered in blue art paper and plastic. The class was also to have a notebook covered in the same manner. I unfortunately did not have the resources at that time to buy the book for family bankruptcy problems so i rummaged through my cousin's old school books and found an older edition of the text book by Zaide. It was written by both Gregorio Zaide and his daughter Sonia. So what if it was battered and bruised and the pages were yellow in age and the pages were torn in overuse? It was the book he required was it not? i presented it to him because he gave out "extra points" to those who had books and covered ones at that. He refused to give me extra points because it had the name Gregorio and did not have the word 6th edition on it. So i let it pass because i figured, i can make up for those points another time. Now this teacher of mine passed on the "teaching" to the students through reporting. o i forgot to mention that he was a graduate of Computer Science and that he did not have any authority on the subject History whatsoever.... It came to a point that my classmate was discussing a particular cradle of civilization, i posed a question about the literature of that society and as expected my classmate was not able to answer. He then passed on the question to my teacher who brushed the question aside as irrelevant and that the society in question DID NOT HAVE ANY FORM OF LITERATURE. In my battered book, Gregorio mentioned that that particular group even pioneered a form of literature. So i sneered and i kept testing him all through the year. Obnoxious of me? Yes.
I have had many an encounter with teachers that i disagreed with. I even came to a point of spearheading a minimutiny aginst the deputy directress of my high school concerning jogging pants..(what!!!!!) Bad!
Now recently, i went through a series of dramatical changes in my life concerning my relationship with friends. I figured it was time to give up on the old bad habits and follow a lifestyle acceptable to God once more. I decided I was going to avoid making obnoxious remarks, and discard all negativity and paranoia and move on to a happy last year in college. I realize now old habits do die hard. I was recently (last week) faced with another questionable professor. We were happily(at least i was) discussing cradles of civilization in asian civilization when i objected to some corny remarks from the professor. He said that he and his friends once went to new york and found it very pleasing to see the big ben. i am not sure if my classmates saw the irony in that statement because no one dared to respond except I. I tutted and said Huh? how could that be possible? the big ben is in london not in new york. he laughed and noted that i got the joke. fine then.. Soon after half of the class were transferred to another room with another teacher whom they profess as, and i quote, an incessantly grammatically and politically ignorant teacher. my professor then started to talk about the earth having the shape of an inverted apple. He said the earth was a hollow entity with openings at the north pole and south pole. The core inside the earth was according to him an inner sun not the former. He then supported his arguement by citing the aurora borealis, the pyramids of giza and the bermuda triangle. For the first time in my life i shut my mouth and forced my face not to react.
Needless to say i was frustrated. Angry even.But the Bible says "in your anger do not sin" So i kept quiet. I felt that his arguement or theory if you can call it that was moot. It has been proven by science that the earth is round and not hollow. Was he trying to say that all the things i have learned from preschool up to this day are wrong? Was my education in question? I could not take it a step further but i kept my calm. Then came a severe chest pain that felt like an elephant was on top of my chest. it hurt like hell and i couldnt breathe. The pofessor soon noticed my paleness and tried to massage my palm. I complained that it was not working and that i could not feel my hands which were white as paper. I was accompanied by some friends to the clinic and guess what the she said. Hysteria.
Duh! the medication a good dose of oxygen and water. Cool. I didnt know you could force yourself to get sick even if you dont mean to. But it is indeed amazing how i was able to overcome my bad habit through the Holy spirit. I was amazed. So will you have it? Chest pain anyone?
The earliest that my brain can remember (at the moment) myself making fun of a teacher was in third year high school. I did not like the way our world history teacher required us to have the 6th edition of Sonia Zaide's text book on the subject. He wanted it covered in blue art paper and plastic. The class was also to have a notebook covered in the same manner. I unfortunately did not have the resources at that time to buy the book for family bankruptcy problems so i rummaged through my cousin's old school books and found an older edition of the text book by Zaide. It was written by both Gregorio Zaide and his daughter Sonia. So what if it was battered and bruised and the pages were yellow in age and the pages were torn in overuse? It was the book he required was it not? i presented it to him because he gave out "extra points" to those who had books and covered ones at that. He refused to give me extra points because it had the name Gregorio and did not have the word 6th edition on it. So i let it pass because i figured, i can make up for those points another time. Now this teacher of mine passed on the "teaching" to the students through reporting. o i forgot to mention that he was a graduate of Computer Science and that he did not have any authority on the subject History whatsoever.... It came to a point that my classmate was discussing a particular cradle of civilization, i posed a question about the literature of that society and as expected my classmate was not able to answer. He then passed on the question to my teacher who brushed the question aside as irrelevant and that the society in question DID NOT HAVE ANY FORM OF LITERATURE. In my battered book, Gregorio mentioned that that particular group even pioneered a form of literature. So i sneered and i kept testing him all through the year. Obnoxious of me? Yes.
I have had many an encounter with teachers that i disagreed with. I even came to a point of spearheading a minimutiny aginst the deputy directress of my high school concerning jogging pants..(what!!!!!) Bad!
Now recently, i went through a series of dramatical changes in my life concerning my relationship with friends. I figured it was time to give up on the old bad habits and follow a lifestyle acceptable to God once more. I decided I was going to avoid making obnoxious remarks, and discard all negativity and paranoia and move on to a happy last year in college. I realize now old habits do die hard. I was recently (last week) faced with another questionable professor. We were happily(at least i was) discussing cradles of civilization in asian civilization when i objected to some corny remarks from the professor. He said that he and his friends once went to new york and found it very pleasing to see the big ben. i am not sure if my classmates saw the irony in that statement because no one dared to respond except I. I tutted and said Huh? how could that be possible? the big ben is in london not in new york. he laughed and noted that i got the joke. fine then.. Soon after half of the class were transferred to another room with another teacher whom they profess as, and i quote, an incessantly grammatically and politically ignorant teacher. my professor then started to talk about the earth having the shape of an inverted apple. He said the earth was a hollow entity with openings at the north pole and south pole. The core inside the earth was according to him an inner sun not the former. He then supported his arguement by citing the aurora borealis, the pyramids of giza and the bermuda triangle. For the first time in my life i shut my mouth and forced my face not to react.
Needless to say i was frustrated. Angry even.But the Bible says "in your anger do not sin" So i kept quiet. I felt that his arguement or theory if you can call it that was moot. It has been proven by science that the earth is round and not hollow. Was he trying to say that all the things i have learned from preschool up to this day are wrong? Was my education in question? I could not take it a step further but i kept my calm. Then came a severe chest pain that felt like an elephant was on top of my chest. it hurt like hell and i couldnt breathe. The pofessor soon noticed my paleness and tried to massage my palm. I complained that it was not working and that i could not feel my hands which were white as paper. I was accompanied by some friends to the clinic and guess what the she said. Hysteria.
Duh! the medication a good dose of oxygen and water. Cool. I didnt know you could force yourself to get sick even if you dont mean to. But it is indeed amazing how i was able to overcome my bad habit through the Holy spirit. I was amazed. So will you have it? Chest pain anyone?
Monday, July 05, 2004
without faith it is impossible to please god
i learned a long time ago that prayers are not a bunch of mumbles and amens. It is not about memorizing age old prayers and saying them just to get it over and done with. it is not about looking around as to who can see you as you pray. it saddens me when i find people pray with their focus much on the prayer and not to the One they pray to.
what did Jesus have to say about praying? (Mt 6:6-8 NIV) "But when you pray, go into your room, close the door and pray to your Father who is unseen.... and when you pray do not keep babbling like the pagans because they think they will be heard with their many words...Your Father knows what you need before you ask him." prayers are your calls, your letters and even your text messages (if you may) to God. Just imagine if you wrote a half hearted assignment, would your professor not give you a low grade? What if you wrote a poor letter to your special someone, will he/she not find you uninterested in the relationship? so it goes with God. Hey i'm no theologian, nor am i a bible scholar... but in the times that i have made the mistake of praying not with my heart but with merely my mouth, i felt God keep his distance. The book of Hebrews says "without faith it is impossible to please God."
it is not a matter of whether you know how to compose a prayer that touches your emotions and the emotions of those around you. God cares about your motives.IT IS NOT A MATTER OF WHETHER YOU'VE EXPERIENCED GOD BEFORE. Even as you were in your mother's womb, God knew you and loved you. How can you say that you're not ready? How can you say that yopu would like to experience God before you believe? In His language it is not "to see is to believe" but rather "to believe is to see". Call me a radical christian but you know what? HE IS REAL. HIS NAIL DRIVEN HANDS ARE REAL. AND THE PRICE FOR YOUR SALVATION WAS HIS BLOOD. HOW MUCH MORE REALITY ARE YOU LOOKING FOR????
i'm not angry. i just feel very passionately about this.i've said it before and i'll say it again- you have nothing to lose and everything to gain. God bless you.
what did Jesus have to say about praying? (Mt 6:6-8 NIV) "But when you pray, go into your room, close the door and pray to your Father who is unseen.... and when you pray do not keep babbling like the pagans because they think they will be heard with their many words...Your Father knows what you need before you ask him." prayers are your calls, your letters and even your text messages (if you may) to God. Just imagine if you wrote a half hearted assignment, would your professor not give you a low grade? What if you wrote a poor letter to your special someone, will he/she not find you uninterested in the relationship? so it goes with God. Hey i'm no theologian, nor am i a bible scholar... but in the times that i have made the mistake of praying not with my heart but with merely my mouth, i felt God keep his distance. The book of Hebrews says "without faith it is impossible to please God."
it is not a matter of whether you know how to compose a prayer that touches your emotions and the emotions of those around you. God cares about your motives.IT IS NOT A MATTER OF WHETHER YOU'VE EXPERIENCED GOD BEFORE. Even as you were in your mother's womb, God knew you and loved you. How can you say that you're not ready? How can you say that yopu would like to experience God before you believe? In His language it is not "to see is to believe" but rather "to believe is to see". Call me a radical christian but you know what? HE IS REAL. HIS NAIL DRIVEN HANDS ARE REAL. AND THE PRICE FOR YOUR SALVATION WAS HIS BLOOD. HOW MUCH MORE REALITY ARE YOU LOOKING FOR????
i'm not angry. i just feel very passionately about this.i've said it before and i'll say it again- you have nothing to lose and everything to gain. God bless you.
Sunday, June 27, 2004
of stubborn moms
yeah, i know what you're gonna say.. you've heard all about mothers and daughters and how they either bash each other to death or how mushy they can get. well let me tell you about MY mama... (i'm not sure if any of you actually care to read about her but what the heck, right? Friendster's gonna be dying in a few months anyway!)
I was adopted at 3 months old so that "the money could stay in the family". My mom was very strict while i was growing up. I was not allowed a lot of things including drinking anything at the neighbors,drinking from plastic or eating fish balls and even speaking up for myself. So basically i was a very good girl for fear that the "uno por dos" will hit my but yet again. but that's not the issue here.
I just found out two weeks ago that my mom has a lump on her right breast that has been growing for about two years already. she showed it to me and i was aghast that she had never mentioned it before. She stopped going to church even as i explained things to her. She even told the pastor that he can come back only when she would be needing funeral rites. that's not even the catch.
I came home last tuesday late in the evening and found out that she burst the lump. "Pinutok mo??!", i asked "Ano yan pigsa?!". all she did was smile. While i was contemplating on the possibilities of it getting infected, she non-chalantly went to sleep. I've told her that she should have it checked by the doctor since she accompanies our elderly neighbors to the hospital every once in awhile anyway. She says "gastos lang un!".
I know she should have a biopsy, or whatever they do to check lumps, but it is as if she's looking forward to what will become of it. when i come home and see the stain on her dress, i feel angry that she does not care about her health. I even have reason to believe she has diabetes, because she has very dry skin, her eyesight is bad (she's only 53),and she has rashes down her legs that haven't healed for months. Plus she has the worst case of hypertension. Her blood pressure rises to 220 over 160 at times.
I feel lost. Even as i know god never lets his children go through more than they can handle, how am i supposed to face this? i have my share of hurts that cut through my heart even though my lord has healed me already. we haven't been talking for two weeks now. i know i'm hurting her in turn by coming home late, not eating the food she prepares and leaving very early in the mornings but i feel that if i don't let her see where she's breaking out, she'll go on the way she's always had-"her way and no buts".
I was adopted at 3 months old so that "the money could stay in the family". My mom was very strict while i was growing up. I was not allowed a lot of things including drinking anything at the neighbors,drinking from plastic or eating fish balls and even speaking up for myself. So basically i was a very good girl for fear that the "uno por dos" will hit my but yet again. but that's not the issue here.
I just found out two weeks ago that my mom has a lump on her right breast that has been growing for about two years already. she showed it to me and i was aghast that she had never mentioned it before. She stopped going to church even as i explained things to her. She even told the pastor that he can come back only when she would be needing funeral rites. that's not even the catch.
I came home last tuesday late in the evening and found out that she burst the lump. "Pinutok mo??!", i asked "Ano yan pigsa?!". all she did was smile. While i was contemplating on the possibilities of it getting infected, she non-chalantly went to sleep. I've told her that she should have it checked by the doctor since she accompanies our elderly neighbors to the hospital every once in awhile anyway. She says "gastos lang un!".
I know she should have a biopsy, or whatever they do to check lumps, but it is as if she's looking forward to what will become of it. when i come home and see the stain on her dress, i feel angry that she does not care about her health. I even have reason to believe she has diabetes, because she has very dry skin, her eyesight is bad (she's only 53),and she has rashes down her legs that haven't healed for months. Plus she has the worst case of hypertension. Her blood pressure rises to 220 over 160 at times.
I feel lost. Even as i know god never lets his children go through more than they can handle, how am i supposed to face this? i have my share of hurts that cut through my heart even though my lord has healed me already. we haven't been talking for two weeks now. i know i'm hurting her in turn by coming home late, not eating the food she prepares and leaving very early in the mornings but i feel that if i don't let her see where she's breaking out, she'll go on the way she's always had-"her way and no buts".
Friday, June 25, 2004
get to know me
i tried to write this before but for some reason or the other, i never knew just where to put it.. at first you may smile, then you will raise a brow, you might even cringe... don't tell me i didnt warn you! read on and get to know meanne as a little girl, a writer, a student, as a dj and finally as God's child.........
my baon as a 2 1/2 year old "saling pusa" in preschool
>milk bottle or yakult and lemon square cup cake
my favorite indigenous game, age 8-10
>patintero, take one, shato
the sport you never knew i won
>sprint 150 meter dash, gold, MISA Intamurals, grade four
the team i never made
>MISA swimming varsity (the plans for the team pushed through right after i graduated high school)
the line that almost got me in little ms philippines at age 5
> cousin: "meanne, do you understand?"
> Meanne: "yes!" (crawls under the table) "under-" (stands) "stand!"
fave toy as a kid
> lego, jumping rope, my talking mathg wizard (he helped me in my math assignments, dont tell my mom!)
most hated toy as a kid
>dolls that open their eyes when standing and close their eyes when lying down (i found it scary!)
most hated scary movie
>chuckie (i hated his bride too)
first novel ever read
> Superfudge (Judy Blume)
first book collection ever actually owned
>(haha!) The Baby-sitter's club
the book series i never owned and don't regret
>Sweet valley high
the book that changed my life
> John, New Testament, NIV Bible
first work ever published
>(don't laugh!) The Unsleeping Princess, Young Writers of Guam compilation, 1992, age 8
my most vivid memory
>mt. pinatubo evacuation scene, subic naval base, 1991
i wish i learned how to
> ride a bike
my fave tine of the day
>sunset
most hated subject ever
>ALGEBRA! (i took it once in high school aand thrice in college)
most loved subjects
>english, composition writing, history, speech and drama, film, production
the subject you never knew i failed
> Filipino, grade four... it wasn't my fault, my papa (when he was alive) had me talk in english everywhere. No one, including the maids, was allowed to talk to me in Tagalog.
the most adventurous thing i ever did
> traverse, wall rapel, australian rapel, free rapel (100 ft)
the vehicles i've been on
>aircraft carrier (USS Pilelu), US military cargo plane, commuter plane, submarine (Atlantis V)
The oath i never took and don't regret
> US Citizenship
most outrageous food i ever ate
>champorado na may medyas (bivoac 2000),single santol seed passed from officers to cadets in CAT
the line i've memorized i say it in my sleep
> Campus Radio 97.1 WLSFM
the words i hope i never say
> i absolutely hate you.
the certificate that most embarrasses me
> Complete attendance certificate, grade three (suddenly, i feel like a nerd)
the best teachers i ever had
> Ms Eleanor Allen (Kalayaan Elem. Sch., Subic Bay)
> Ms Arcenas (Agana Heights Elem Sch., Guam)
> Ms Eyzell Claro (Speech and Drama, English, MISA)
> Sir Ruel Balbuena (CAT Commandant, MISA)
> Sir Arnel (THE, MISA)
> Dr. Monica Lazo(hunamities, Values ed(psychology), Deputy Directress, MISA)
> Ms Alice Mercado (Filipino, Asian History, MISA)
> Ms Ritchel Bernardo (College English, ADU)
> Sir Delos Reyes ( Philippine History, ADU)
> Atty "BIBO" (phil constitution, ADU)
> Ms Elaine Hufano (advertising, ADU)
> Ms Jeanie Derillo (film,production,essay&feature writing,thesis)
there was a time when i almost wanted to become a
> nun (to escape my world)
the saddest thing ever said to me
> Mom: "wala ka sa kalingkingan ng pinsan mo!"
the kindest words ever said to me
> "i admire you for your strength, perserverance and endurance."
my song on a rainy day
> rainbow connection
my song on a happy day
> Better than (United Live)
my song on the radio
> She will be loved (Maroon 5)
The song i want to hear on my wedding (IF!! that's an IF)
> Ikaw
the poem i want read on my wedding day (another IF!)
> Sonnets from the Portuguese... How do i love thee...
the movie that made me cry buckets
> A Walk to remember
the movie that had me very angry
> the cube (it even has a sequel?!!)
the movies that scared me for a month
> sixth sense and ring
if i could do something for eternity i would
> sing for God
what would i sing?
> I can only imagine, your beloved, only a God like you, my redeemer lives, all about you, free, every move i make, with you, you are my world, saving grace, my bestfriend, how great thou art,
if i die today the last image i want in my memory would be
> a sunset
ei, so you now know my inner most thoughts and the things i don't normally reveal in a regualar conversation. Don't go changing the way you act around me okay? Glod bless you! :)
my baon as a 2 1/2 year old "saling pusa" in preschool
>milk bottle or yakult and lemon square cup cake
my favorite indigenous game, age 8-10
>patintero, take one, shato
the sport you never knew i won
>sprint 150 meter dash, gold, MISA Intamurals, grade four
the team i never made
>MISA swimming varsity (the plans for the team pushed through right after i graduated high school)
the line that almost got me in little ms philippines at age 5
> cousin: "meanne, do you understand?"
> Meanne: "yes!" (crawls under the table) "under-" (stands) "stand!"
fave toy as a kid
> lego, jumping rope, my talking mathg wizard (he helped me in my math assignments, dont tell my mom!)
most hated toy as a kid
>dolls that open their eyes when standing and close their eyes when lying down (i found it scary!)
most hated scary movie
>chuckie (i hated his bride too)
first novel ever read
> Superfudge (Judy Blume)
first book collection ever actually owned
>(haha!) The Baby-sitter's club
the book series i never owned and don't regret
>Sweet valley high
the book that changed my life
> John, New Testament, NIV Bible
first work ever published
>(don't laugh!) The Unsleeping Princess, Young Writers of Guam compilation, 1992, age 8
my most vivid memory
>mt. pinatubo evacuation scene, subic naval base, 1991
i wish i learned how to
> ride a bike
my fave tine of the day
>sunset
most hated subject ever
>ALGEBRA! (i took it once in high school aand thrice in college)
most loved subjects
>english, composition writing, history, speech and drama, film, production
the subject you never knew i failed
> Filipino, grade four... it wasn't my fault, my papa (when he was alive) had me talk in english everywhere. No one, including the maids, was allowed to talk to me in Tagalog.
the most adventurous thing i ever did
> traverse, wall rapel, australian rapel, free rapel (100 ft)
the vehicles i've been on
>aircraft carrier (USS Pilelu), US military cargo plane, commuter plane, submarine (Atlantis V)
The oath i never took and don't regret
> US Citizenship
most outrageous food i ever ate
>champorado na may medyas (bivoac 2000),single santol seed passed from officers to cadets in CAT
the line i've memorized i say it in my sleep
> Campus Radio 97.1 WLSFM
the words i hope i never say
> i absolutely hate you.
the certificate that most embarrasses me
> Complete attendance certificate, grade three (suddenly, i feel like a nerd)
the best teachers i ever had
> Ms Eleanor Allen (Kalayaan Elem. Sch., Subic Bay)
> Ms Arcenas (Agana Heights Elem Sch., Guam)
> Ms Eyzell Claro (Speech and Drama, English, MISA)
> Sir Ruel Balbuena (CAT Commandant, MISA)
> Sir Arnel (THE, MISA)
> Dr. Monica Lazo(hunamities, Values ed(psychology), Deputy Directress, MISA)
> Ms Alice Mercado (Filipino, Asian History, MISA)
> Ms Ritchel Bernardo (College English, ADU)
> Sir Delos Reyes ( Philippine History, ADU)
> Atty "BIBO" (phil constitution, ADU)
> Ms Elaine Hufano (advertising, ADU)
> Ms Jeanie Derillo (film,production,essay&feature writing,thesis)
there was a time when i almost wanted to become a
> nun (to escape my world)
the saddest thing ever said to me
> Mom: "wala ka sa kalingkingan ng pinsan mo!"
the kindest words ever said to me
> "i admire you for your strength, perserverance and endurance."
my song on a rainy day
> rainbow connection
my song on a happy day
> Better than (United Live)
my song on the radio
> She will be loved (Maroon 5)
The song i want to hear on my wedding (IF!! that's an IF)
> Ikaw
the poem i want read on my wedding day (another IF!)
> Sonnets from the Portuguese... How do i love thee...
the movie that made me cry buckets
> A Walk to remember
the movie that had me very angry
> the cube (it even has a sequel?!!)
the movies that scared me for a month
> sixth sense and ring
if i could do something for eternity i would
> sing for God
what would i sing?
> I can only imagine, your beloved, only a God like you, my redeemer lives, all about you, free, every move i make, with you, you are my world, saving grace, my bestfriend, how great thou art,
if i die today the last image i want in my memory would be
> a sunset
ei, so you now know my inner most thoughts and the things i don't normally reveal in a regualar conversation. Don't go changing the way you act around me okay? Glod bless you! :)
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