Thursday, August 26, 2004

i know

many times i've heard it said that You are great
That everything i know is marked with the prints of Your mighty hand
I grew up in a world that boasts of knowing You
And yet too many times I stumbled as i saw them fall
Who would have thought Your eyes would rest on little 'ol me?
The same hands that created the heavens would actually hold mine?
Never has man's mind been able to fathom how vast Your powers are
So how did it happen that Your amazing grace was given to a nobody like me?
There are days when i forget to tell You how happy i am
But when troubles come the first word out of my lips is Your name
The fact that You are always beside me escapes me at times
You gently touch me, turn my eyes and i am reminded
I get caught up with the world and its worries too often
They take away my time with You and present shabby substitutes
They call me derranged and i just turn right back to You, my home base
Then I wish the joy and promise You gave me would not be foriegn to them
What can i give back that your hands have not made?
It seems Your standards are high and far-fetched
So for every burnt offering You have provided a lamb
For every gap between islands, a means to cross the bridge
I hope You don't mind that i constantly call upon You
I know i am not the only one whose needs You attend to
It's just that when i talk to You, i can never get enough of Your nearness
I long for the day when i become intoxicated by Your fragrance, swept away by Your love
People come to me to say they like my ways, and ask my secret
I shrugg my shoulders- "I am nobody, I just have a great Dad."
You are my secret, my focus, my way and my first love
They say You are great. I know You're better that great.

Thursday, August 12, 2004

best i ever had

i was surprised by the question my teacher/friend mam jen asked me last night. She asked me what my birthday wish was. i did not have an answer because i could not remember if i ever made one. Perhaps i did, at one point in time- when i was a kid- wish to have the usual toys or a trip to the mall with my parents. even now as i am typing this i cannot think of an answer to the question.

i spent two days celebrating my birthday this year. im actually overwhelmed.. On tuesday my college best buds and i went to sm manila to have lunch at tropical hut at the fourth floor. Its funny because this was the first time each one was present ever since the last time we ate out together which was right after our variety show last december and since the big fight we had over the summer. We laughed as we remembered that december afternoon when we saw the girl beside our table pick at her spaghetti and barely touch her chicken just because she was with a guy who seemed to be trying to impress her with his money (or his parents' money). They were with another girl who must have been a chaperone on their said date. my friends and i figured it was another one of those 'eyebol dates'. We couldn't have cared less about what those people did since we were finishing every strip of chicken there was on our plate. We were very hungry, mind you, after all the work we did on the variety show. Some minutes passed and the chaperoned couple left their table. I got mad at how wasteful the girl was, she just took a piece of skin from her chicken! because of a dare (i cant remember who dared me) i got up from my seat, walked accross to the table beside us, took the chicken from the plate and brought it back to our table. My friends and i laughed as we remembered laughing our hearts out as we shared it with feelings of embarrassment and delight.

I looked at all six faces as we were getting ready to leave our table. I suddenly realized we have barely seven months together as college students. i spend more time with these guys more than ive spent time with my neices at home. These are faces i have memorized and look forward to seeing everyday of the week. i don't ever want to forget these people. i was teary eyed then but i did not want to become all sentimental in front of them, they've seen me cry too many times all ready and that's just for the month of august. so i held back the tears. i put away the tissue paper they had written small notes on for my birthday. i love those guys.

after that we went shopping for shoes because my nanay gave me some money to buy myself a new pair after i showed her that the old pair had holes already. Later we went to the aumacomms office to talk about the general assembly and help out with whatever it was our other friends would have us do. The others were rehearsing for their dance number.

The general assembly was successful and compared with the other assemblies i've attended in the past, this was fun. i hosted the event together with lui, tere and melvin. Actually the four of us only had a short briefing two hours before the program began. A deejay from Love Radio, Chris Tsuper was the speaker for the assembly and he was telling the students how unimportant a mastery of the english language was on radio. i thought- who are you kidding? i couldnt help but think of the difference between all the things mr chris tsuper was saying to the students (some of which were actual aspiring djs)and the things my mentor, John Hendrix, had taught the aircheck student deejays.It was fortunate that i did not commit a mistake of saying 97.1 wlsfm. I guess i was not the only one reacting, Mr Tan the chairman of the department of foreign languages contradicted everything the guy said in his speech. by the way Mr Tan was the highlight of the general assembly, he sang "the greatest love of all".

After the assembly myle and i waited for the other core members to come out of their classes for we had plans of going to luneta to celebrate. We bought some chips and some sodas and spent some hours in front of the DOT. The wind was cold and lapu-lapu's large figure was missing. Everybody missed him. There were kids lurking around asking for our food and one of them was a bully. We were already shooing them away but they seemed to have been trained to pester the people at luneta for whatever they could get their hands on. they were rowdy and annoying but that was not enough to get me out of my happy mood.

Two days spent all because my friends thought it was special. i wish particular people thought of it as special too. if it was possible, i would hold the moment and not allow time to continue. I may never have another birthday such as this one. For the first time i don't have words passionate enough to express my joy. i thank the Lord that He allowed all this to happen through my friends. This was my best birthday ever.

i asked God last night if ever that special person He intended for me would be coming any time soon. i told Him how i would like that person, whoever he might be, to be able to give as much importance to the day i was born as my friends have. Maybe even more. . .

Sunday, August 08, 2004

kalakip ng awitin

kung mayroon lamang akong sanlibong buhay
hindi ipagkakait lahat sayoy ibibigay
gayunpaman saking nagiisang taglay
ilalaan bawat saglit upang ibigin ka ng walang humpay

gaya ng dagat na hindi napapagal sa pagalon
puso ko ay sayo magmamahal sa habang panahon
natatanging karangalan ko'y ikaw ay sambahin
wagas na pag sinata'y iyong dinggin
kalakip ng awitin