Wednesday, July 21, 2004

JFCM

for more information on Jesus First Christian Ministries, the church i love so much, check out www.jfcm.org.ph

walk the talk

Last sunday, our pastor shared a message all about offering. He cited Cain and Abel and continued on to say that not all that we offer to God is pleasing to God. Not to get too preachy, the essence of the message was that we should check ourselves whether what we do still pleases God. I tell you i am not alone in saying that it was one of the most hurtful messages i have heard. I pondered very hard on that thought- "Are you cain or abel?".
Then yesterday, as i was on the way to school, i remembered my pastor and how much work he puts in on God'd kingdom. I take pride in saying things that concern him because i very much admire his perserverance. Ptr Domeng happens to be one of the overseers of the Jesus First Christian Ministries, a church that began in Saudi Arabia believe it or not. Our outreach, JFCM Taytay, is the church he directly handles every sunday but over all he oversees about 11 other provincial churches of JFCM. He's a cool dude even if he's almost 50.. Hehe.. I'm friends with his two older kids Dave and Dyan. Thinking of him yesterday made me smile tearfully and think of that line in the bible that says we should continue to encourage one another. So i picked up my phone and texted him. I told him "wala lang! naalala ko lng po kayo. just want to thank you for your work for God's Kingdom.God's Grace be with you today!". Of course i expected a reply but that of the "ok" types. He replied (not 'reply back' like my friend likes to txt!hehe) saying that i gave confirmation that he was preaching the word of God not of man. I didnt know he was doubting himself already. He said thanks right after.
I rarely get to see my pastor ever since i came into radio last year. Yes it has been a year... I remember when i shared the news of acceptance to the auditions to him. He gave me a half smile reminding me that i should not forget the things that matter most. It is now that we have a cell group in school that i realize how much Ptr Domeng's work and discipleship has poured onto my life. He was there when i had so many questions to ask. He gladly presented the answers to each one no matter if we ended each session of Bible study at 11:30 in the evening. No matter if i had to sleep over night at their house so that the worship team could practice for an upcoming concert till 2 in the morning. No matter if he had to travel to antipolo straight from a meeting in mandaluyong. I never saw him tired or ashamed that he was a pastor "on call". In scholl during cell meetings when i answer trivial questions to my friends, i remember myself asking for help during my time. were it not for ptr domeng or the other workers i hung (past tense) around with I would not be able to answer my cell mates.
Tearfully, i realize i miss church. I miss my friends at church. I miss practicing on saturdays and arguing with our guitarist all because he wants to take the song on a G and i want it on an E because the notes are too high for me on G. I miss goofing around Ptr domeng's house and cooking and eating with the other christian friends including my mom. I miss the fire of worship leading. The last time i sang in church was december of 2003, the only follow up to that was JFCM's anniversary last May. I also miss the manong who sells barbeque at the corner of the church whom i would chat with during breaks. I miss the flood in taytay. I miss the little kids who like to run around the church before sunday service. I miss everything related to God's ministry.
How could I????? How could i exchange that part of my life that brought everything i ever needed? Here comes the question- Can radio be better than God's house. NO. How many times have i sang that song- "Better is one day in Your courts, better is one day in Your house, better is one day in your courts than a thousand elsewhere"?
I have seen what there is to be seen in the life in radio. The internal politics, the greed, the pride, the (excuse me) dirt. I endured it for a year. I was a part of it for a year. with humility, i admit, i was one of them for a year. A year is enough. i have decided. Walk the talk. how can i tell my cell mates to their face that life with God is better than anything in the world if i am a part of a world so in contrast with God's world.
Giving radio up hurts. so much. Why? because i took up mass communications to be in media. Call it a dream. this was to be a stepping stone, like so many people like to call it. But then the world likes to glitter things up to keep you from what matters most. I texted my mentor at the radio station just today, i told him the truth, that i have a ministry to attend to. Funny, God loves to take the things that matter a big deal to you. If it takes you away from God, it's not worth keeping. Do you think Abel was hurt when he gave up his offering?

Friday, July 09, 2004

chest pain anyone?

For almost every year that i have spent in school, i have always had a teacher that i despised by any of the following reasons: teaching technique, grammatical ignorance,lack of fashion sense, p and h defect, corny jokes, ticket-selling requirement,capricious requirements, unacceptable guesses of the facts on the subject and at times the teacher himself for no reason at all. There were those that i got along with later on in life, but then it is inevitable that i have not been able to come to terms with the rest.
The earliest that my brain can remember (at the moment) myself making fun of a teacher was in third year high school. I did not like the way our world history teacher required us to have the 6th edition of Sonia Zaide's text book on the subject. He wanted it covered in blue art paper and plastic. The class was also to have a notebook covered in the same manner. I unfortunately did not have the resources at that time to buy the book for family bankruptcy problems so i rummaged through my cousin's old school books and found an older edition of the text book by Zaide. It was written by both Gregorio Zaide and his daughter Sonia. So what if it was battered and bruised and the pages were yellow in age and the pages were torn in overuse? It was the book he required was it not? i presented it to him because he gave out "extra points" to those who had books and covered ones at that. He refused to give me extra points because it had the name Gregorio and did not have the word 6th edition on it. So i let it pass because i figured, i can make up for those points another time. Now this teacher of mine passed on the "teaching" to the students through reporting. o i forgot to mention that he was a graduate of Computer Science and that he did not have any authority on the subject History whatsoever.... It came to a point that my classmate was discussing a particular cradle of civilization, i posed a question about the literature of that society and as expected my classmate was not able to answer. He then passed on the question to my teacher who brushed the question aside as irrelevant and that the society in question DID NOT HAVE ANY FORM OF LITERATURE. In my battered book, Gregorio mentioned that that particular group even pioneered a form of literature. So i sneered and i kept testing him all through the year. Obnoxious of me? Yes.
I have had many an encounter with teachers that i disagreed with. I even came to a point of spearheading a minimutiny aginst the deputy directress of my high school concerning jogging pants..(what!!!!!) Bad!
Now recently, i went through a series of dramatical changes in my life concerning my relationship with friends. I figured it was time to give up on the old bad habits and follow a lifestyle acceptable to God once more. I decided I was going to avoid making obnoxious remarks, and discard all negativity and paranoia and move on to a happy last year in college. I realize now old habits do die hard. I was recently (last week) faced with another questionable professor. We were happily(at least i was) discussing cradles of civilization in asian civilization when i objected to some corny remarks from the professor. He said that he and his friends once went to new york and found it very pleasing to see the big ben. i am not sure if my classmates saw the irony in that statement because no one dared to respond except I. I tutted and said Huh? how could that be possible? the big ben is in london not in new york. he laughed and noted that i got the joke. fine then.. Soon after half of the class were transferred to another room with another teacher whom they profess as, and i quote, an incessantly grammatically and politically ignorant teacher. my professor then started to talk about the earth having the shape of an inverted apple. He said the earth was a hollow entity with openings at the north pole and south pole. The core inside the earth was according to him an inner sun not the former. He then supported his arguement by citing the aurora borealis, the pyramids of giza and the bermuda triangle. For the first time in my life i shut my mouth and forced my face not to react.
Needless to say i was frustrated. Angry even.But the Bible says "in your anger do not sin" So i kept quiet. I felt that his arguement or theory if you can call it that was moot. It has been proven by science that the earth is round and not hollow. Was he trying to say that all the things i have learned from preschool up to this day are wrong? Was my education in question? I could not take it a step further but i kept my calm. Then came a severe chest pain that felt like an elephant was on top of my chest. it hurt like hell and i couldnt breathe. The pofessor soon noticed my paleness and tried to massage my palm. I complained that it was not working and that i could not feel my hands which were white as paper. I was accompanied by some friends to the clinic and guess what the she said. Hysteria.
Duh! the medication a good dose of oxygen and water. Cool. I didnt know you could force yourself to get sick even if you dont mean to. But it is indeed amazing how i was able to overcome my bad habit through the Holy spirit. I was amazed. So will you have it? Chest pain anyone?

Monday, July 05, 2004

without faith it is impossible to please god

i learned a long time ago that prayers are not a bunch of mumbles and amens. It is not about memorizing age old prayers and saying them just to get it over and done with. it is not about looking around as to who can see you as you pray. it saddens me when i find people pray with their focus much on the prayer and not to the One they pray to.
what did Jesus have to say about praying? (Mt 6:6-8 NIV) "But when you pray, go into your room, close the door and pray to your Father who is unseen.... and when you pray do not keep babbling like the pagans because they think they will be heard with their many words...Your Father knows what you need before you ask him." prayers are your calls, your letters and even your text messages (if you may) to God. Just imagine if you wrote a half hearted assignment, would your professor not give you a low grade? What if you wrote a poor letter to your special someone, will he/she not find you uninterested in the relationship? so it goes with God. Hey i'm no theologian, nor am i a bible scholar... but in the times that i have made the mistake of praying not with my heart but with merely my mouth, i felt God keep his distance. The book of Hebrews says "without faith it is impossible to please God."
it is not a matter of whether you know how to compose a prayer that touches your emotions and the emotions of those around you. God cares about your motives.IT IS NOT A MATTER OF WHETHER YOU'VE EXPERIENCED GOD BEFORE. Even as you were in your mother's womb, God knew you and loved you. How can you say that you're not ready? How can you say that yopu would like to experience God before you believe? In His language it is not "to see is to believe" but rather "to believe is to see". Call me a radical christian but you know what? HE IS REAL. HIS NAIL DRIVEN HANDS ARE REAL. AND THE PRICE FOR YOUR SALVATION WAS HIS BLOOD. HOW MUCH MORE REALITY ARE YOU LOOKING FOR????
i'm not angry. i just feel very passionately about this.i've said it before and i'll say it again- you have nothing to lose and everything to gain. God bless you.